12.24.2012

It's Christmas Eve.

It's been 21 days since my last post and it's as though the entire world has changed in these three weeks. Normally, time passes and events occur and they blend together. But this December has been pretty monumentally laid out in ways that I don't think people will allow it to be blurred or forgotten.

I'll give you a quick update on what's been going on personally:

- I was in Houston for 4 days earlier this month. 
- I hosted a cookie swap. Post soon to come.
- I decorated for Christmas. Post soon to come.
- I took, ordered, mailed out Christmas cards. Post soon to come.
- I finished my Zumba and Country line dancing classes.
- I attended a few holiday parties.
- I began my 2 week winter break.

Sean's been working on music like crazy and some days it seems that lots of different people come in and out of our house to record some type of musical instrument. I don't mind this because it gives me time to catch up on DVR... and watch all the shows Sean doesn't like to watch.

Apollo is as cute as ever and is very excited for Christmas.

But to be honest, all these things that we've done the past three weeks feel so small.

Now is an exciting time, and like I've mentioned before I am the person who goes out on Black Friday to get the deals and to shop 'til I drop... because for...ever I thought that's what Christmas was all about.

But then, December 14th happened. I could tell you what happened, but there's no need. 

And now it's not about the gifts, the deals and sales, the shopping, the materials given as presents.

Like many people, December 14th changed my views. About the holidays. About my work. About my blog. About my every day schedule. About the life I'm living.

And of course, I always knew that life is short. To tell people I love them every day. To hold people close. To live every day to the fullest. To enjoy the little things. That tomorrow isn't promised.  

But let's be honest. It's easy to get sucked up in the moment. To run out the door in the morning without a kiss goodbye. To fall asleep at night without saying goodnight. To go through the motions of life, and the schedule of your day, without actually allowing yourself to express your emotions. 

It took me all week to decide how I would write about this. Obviously, I would have to say something. I couldn't post about it when it first happened, and all week this post has been the one that's been in the back of my mind. That monumental event that needs to be mentioned but it's just so awful.

But it's wrong to ignore it.

That's why I blog. I blog so that something is here to remind me what I feel and what I do. I blog so that family and friends who I don't get the chance to talk to every day read what I'm up to. I blog to communicate, to vent, to explore. I blog to connect. I blog as a hobby. I blog to remember. Maybe it's petty, and maybe it's self-indulgent but it's something that is real. A real diary of a real journey and something that is important to me. To keep words and pictures and memories in a place that is concrete and accessible and honest. And while at times, it may seem that DIY projects, and holiday parties, and my cat are so small compared to large, drastic, and [sometimes] horrible events that happen in the world... it's still okay for me to write about these things because if I'm chronicling my life that's what I'm up to. And I'm not ashamed of that. 

If anything I'm lucky that these small things are keeping me happy. I'm lucky to be safe, and healthy, and that my family is safe and healthy, and to be able to say that my biggest problem right now is that my ribbon doesn't match my wrapping paper under the tree.

[And to know that won't always be the case.]

It helps to get a little perspective. To live in the moment. To reassess what's important. To take a step away only to return with clarity. 

Because honestly, it's not about the presents, the decorating, the holiday parties, or the ribbon under the tree. Sure that's what I talk about.. because those are the things I can take pictures of. Those are the things that I can quickly explain. Jot it down so that in 12 months when I do a yearly re-wrap I remember what the house looked like.

But really? It's about the person laying next to me. It's about my parents and his. It's about our families. It's about our friends. It's about the laughter, the jokes, the animals running around like crazy. It's about seeing relatives that you don't get to see every day. And sometimes it's easy to forget that's what I should write about. Those feelings are what should be remembered, and chronicled.  

And while I don't want or need horrific events like December 14th to happen in order to remind myself of what's real or what's important it definitely puts the beauty and fragility of life into perspective. 

Definitely.

So Happy Christmas Eve. May peace and perspective find you when you need it most. 

1 comment:

  1. Thank you so much for this post.

    I hope you have a Merry Christmas.

    ReplyDelete

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