The grocery store brings out my serious side.

Whenever we go grocery shopping, 
Sean says I put my b-face on.
"B" as in the b word. Yup.

Am I a rude person? No.
In every day life, I'm really kind, polite and understanding.
But at the grocery store... I just can't do it.

Is it too much to ask that the bag person not place my hot rotisserie chicken 
on top of my shredded cheese?
Or to not squeeze and smell my fresh baguette?
Or to not ask to touch my Marc Jacobs bag.
I think not.

For some reason, it's one of places in the world
where I want things how I want them and when I want them
and I get an attitude when things get in the way.

Typically, we go grocery shopping on Sundays.
Not the best day to go, I'll give you that.
But it's when we have the time to go together.
Because, really -- I can't go alone.

There are a couple of reasons why I have to put my b-face on...

Should we park close to the cart return so it's easier afterwards?
Or is the risk of someone hitting the car with a shopping cart too prominent?
Why are the cart returns not evenly spaced out to make this decision easier?

The shopping cart:

Luckily, Sean controls the cart.
And he constantly deals with steering away from the elderly,
small children, and the store displays. 
Why people think it's okay to hold on to their cart 
while they reach across to the opposite side of the aisle to grab something?
I'll never understand.

The maze:
I have a method inside the grocery store. Inside is confusing and messy.
I need a serious face to maneuver between the parking, the carts, the aisles, and the people on their iPads.
I feel like people need to know that the grocery store is not a social hour.
I'm dying to get in & out.

I've found I like to travel all the way to left of the store (skipping the cold aisles),
work backwards, swing around to the fruits, veggies, meats and dairy.
OCD?... possibly.

But the idea that people start with dairy, pick through the dry aisles, 
grab their meat, travel through more dry aisles, 
arrive at the frozen food and dairy aisles some 45 minutes later.
While things that are supposed to be cold... are getting warm?
Well, that's just strange.
When Sean tries to change the plans?
I get the face.
The "b-face" as he calls it.

The shopping bags:
Is it too much to ask that all the boxed products go together?
All the cold things together?
All the meats together?
Bread and chips not be placed underneath liters of soda?
I put everything [with the bags] on the conveyor belt in the order I'd like things to be packaged.

Isn't that typical?
Why is it so hard?

So, yes. 
I put on my serious face.
Or my b-face as Sean calls it.
And I sound rude when I say "excuse me" to the person standing in the middle of the aisle,
oblivious to the fact that they're in public.
I seem upset when they crush my eggs, and forget to give me the sale price.
I have a mental breakdown when I come out to my car and there are carts leaning against it.

Call me crazy. 


  1. Hahaha OMG you're Sean!!! He is the same way when we grocery shop, lol.

    He use to be worst when we went on Sundays. We go on Wednesdays now and he is only half as bad :)

  2. I am the exact same way! My husband hates grocery shopping with me because I get so mad at the other people in the store. I also can't stand the self-checkout machines - they are so finicky and are constantly requiring assistance, so I don't see the point in them.

  3. LOL-I kind of an Aldi fan for some of those reasons. Being that you have to put a quarter in for a chart- there are no charts in the parking lot and you have to bag all your own food so you bag it how you want it.

  4. I am the same way in the grocery store. I am a completely different person. The boyfriend has to control the cart or I will just start mowing down the unattended children running around the aisles. Just thinking about it makes me into a crazy person...haha. Thanks for following!
    Penniless Socialite
    Jewelry Giveaway!

  5. Funny post :) It's so true and you don't even deal with Market Basket lol!


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