I've always believed you're able to change the cards you've been dealt. Everything in life is a choice. Usually, there's more than one choice. Sure, maybe you don't like either choice -- but they are available to you.
In yesterday's post, I set up the scene, from a few weeks ago, of Sean and I sitting in the doctor's office and the doctor saying "well, we found one thing that's a bit alarming". For the next couple of minutes, I listened as the doctor talked and talked and stopped and stuttered and stopped to print a few things off the computer and I really wished I could just be playing a game on my iPhone. The bottom line?
"Prothrombin Gene Mutation". A rare genetic blood condition associated with a higher risk of blood clots specifically when estrogen levels are higher (i.e. when you're pregnant). And so, I listened and didn't understand most of what was being mentioned. The only thing I got out of it (other than pregnancy could be dangerous) was that I shouldn't be too still, sit for too long, or go for long periods without stretching. Oh, and not to sit criss-cross, or with my legs crossed, or stay in the car for too long. Umm. So I came home and went to my favorite search engine: Google. What a mistake.
I was overwhelmed with websites and information and forums of people who also tested positive for this "thing" who were having serious issues relating to it. Miscarriages, stillbirths, strokes -- the list goes on. But me? I'm thankful to say I've never had an issue with a blood clot. So what are the chances something like that will happen to me when we decide we're ready to get pregnant?
They can't answer that. But... just like in everything -- there's a choice. Because now we know I have this "thing", I can choose to take certain precautions and certain medicine and be aware and alert and pay attention to what the doctors are saying to me (which clearly I'm bad at doing). Sure... not perfect -- but choices nonetheless.
Is this debilitating? No.
Is it the end all and be all? No.
Sometimes you're handed things and you feel like: that's it. In those cases, some look to God or a higher power, some other people look within themselves. This post isn't about which way I lean. But I do believe things work themselves out. And every struggle gives you a little more strength.