It’s that time of year. You know the one. The time of year when all I can think about are the new TV shows about to premiere. It’s slightly sad, but I get really excited for this! I wait and wait and wait and once the shows seem semi-finalized I choose my picks for fall. In fact, a few Saturday nights ago Sean and I spent our night watching the On Demand previews for all the network shows. (what a date night specifically for someone who doesn’t like TV all that much). But did you know they were available? You can watch 3-4 minute segments of all the new shows. It’s pretty cool.
I usually go overboard with planning out what shows I’m going to watch. Like, I’ve made a color coordinated spreadsheet with clickable links that bring you to the shows website, and it also tells me the date it premieres. My DVR is not that reliable. In fact, sometimes it just does it’s absolute own thing — so I need a graph to remind me to check the DVR. Whatever, okay?
So, what am I watching?
For someone who doesn’t like TV, Sean was sure vocal as far as Monday night TV is panning out. I don’t think Almost Human or Sleepy Hollow are for me — but who knows? Almost Human is about a race of robots that appear to be helping humans? Or maybe, I’m confused. Sleepy Hollow is about the headless horseman? I think. What I do know is that Blacklist and Hostages look interesting and Anna Faris looks hysterical in Mom.
A comedy by the creator of Family Guy starring Seth Green? Super excited about Dads. The Goldbergs reminds me of a mock “The Wonder Years” and it takes place in the 80s so I’m pumped to see hairstyles and clothing. Brooklyn Nine-Nine looks like one of those stupid comedies that you watch and enjoy but don’t tell anyone about it? And Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is another one of Sean’s picks. Super heroes? No, thanks.
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I’m not feeling that well today which means I’m watching a lot of TV. That, clearly, led me to think a lot about shows and characters which brought me to this…
It seems like there are a bunch of TV characters that are thrown into the story line for “comic relief”. But let’s face it: they don’t get the girl, their character never truly develops into something more, and usually they are left behind the other characters as the laughing-stock. Let’s take a look at some.
Oh, Full House. So Joey moves into his best friend’s house to help him to take care of his three daughters. He sleeps in the living room until one day (without asking) they move his belongings to the basement. He spends years being a male nanny and having jobs here and there — his most successful one being “Ranger Joe” where his sidekick was a woodchuck. Any dating prospects he had were cut off after an episode or two and he was kicked out of his “luxurious” basement (Uncle Jesse needed a music studio) to a small bedroom that I think still had at least one pink bunny on the wall. Couldn’t they give him something to work with?
The King of Queens… is not Spence. Let’s take a look — he works as a toll-taker on the subway, he’s seen as the nerd in the group often going to comic conventions, he never gets the girl and quite honestly, is a little pathetic. He lives with his unstable mom until he moves in with his best friend’s cousin. Oh, and they share a bedroom — with individual twin beds and all. He loses the one girl he “loves” (even though he never had her) to Doug’s father in-law when she chooses to use her profession as a dog walker and walk a human rather than Spence’s dog. Oh, and eventually he falls for Doug’s wife — which is a lost cause. Sad.
The Big Bang Theory — you are my favorite. Why must you write such a sad story line for Raj? Get this… he has a strange bromance with his friend Howard until Howard marries Bernadette (who by the way seems a little out of Howard’s lead…) and once that happens he’s left, alone. He can’t even talk if there are women in the room unless he’s drinking which must mean he drinks a lot since the girls in the show are always around. Despite his not being able to talk to girls he dates a lot but is never in a successful or long-term relationship like all of his friends which is what he wants. Girls either want his money, have issues themselves or only date him to appease their parents. When will the writers throw him a bone?
No list of pathetic TV characters would be complete without Two and a Half Men’s, Alan. Alright… ten years ago his character was a bit more believable (completely living off his brother after his recent divorce)… but now he is just mooching off a stranger. Literally — a stranger bought his brother’s house and he is now living there (rent-free) just because of other weird events. He’s neurotic, and cheap and has horrible luck. He’s two (maybe three) times divorced at this point, his kid’s not that bright, and despite not having anything to begin with — he’s constantly having things taken from him. How is that even possible?
So, what TV characters do you feel pathetically sorry for?
I can’t even begin to contain my excitement over tonight’s season premiere of Pretty Little Liars. I love that ABC Family plays new episodes of shows in the summertime. It’s the best.
If you don’t watch Pretty Little Liars, here’s what you need to know: Five best friends are at a sleepover and the “Regina George” of the group goes missing. The others lose contact with one another over the next year, distraught over the disappearance of their friend, Alison. On the anniversary of her disappearance, which coincides with Labor Day, her body is found. The four remaining friends, re-connect at her funeral and realize they are all getting anonymous letters, texts, messages, and phone calls from “A” who apparently knows all of their secrets — that they only ever told to Alison. During the last three seasons, the girls get themselves into even more trouble: telling more lies and creating the need for more secrets all while trying to find out who is stalking/attempting to frame them for murder… are you with me?
Clearly, the show is geared toward teens. And while I LOVE it — I have a couple of issues with the whole thing.
1. Student/teacher relationship: Now, I remember seeing my first student/teacher relationship between Pacey and Ms. Jacobs (Dawson’s Creek, anyone?). This sort of thing has been popping up all the time in TV shows/movies. And of course, Pretty Little Liars is no different. I admit that part of me (my 16-year old self) is rooting for them… but most of me is really grossed out. (However, in real life they have instagram accounts and I’m secretly obsessed with them…)
2. Lies, lies, lies: These girls lie about everything. They could be asked if they ate lunch — and they’d probably lie. But, it’s probably why they are called pretty little liars.
3. Police work: The town they live in, clearly is lacking in a competent police force. This group of cops cannot solve a single crime. Not even when the crime is committed by the girls (who really aren’t that bright).
4. Parental guidance: The parents are awful — everyone of them. They definitely don’t set any positive examples.
5. Technology: If I was being harassed via my phone — I would change my number. Or block anonymous calls. Or I don’t know… tell someone.
Sean watches The Walking Dead. It scares me and I lost interest like a year ago.
However, we often talk about a zombie apocalypse. If it’s possible? And are we prepared?
There’s even some really intense conversations about mosquitoes carrying the disease.
Ya, it’s a little crazy.
Every once in a while, we race each other to the door of our building and pretend zombies are chasing us.
You know, totally normal stuff.
That leads me to this:
If you have not seen this show, Doomsday Preppers, please watch five minutes of an episode OnDemand. If you don’t want to put yourself through it — have no fear, I’ll tell you what it’s all about.
It’s a reality show about people who prepare for what they fear will be doomsday. They call themselves “survivalists” or “preppers” and they are supposedly ready for the end of the world whether it’s because of a nuclear war, natural disaster, terrorist attack, economic meltdown, etc., etc., etc.
These people prepare a “bug-out” shelter and refer to it when they talk about “bugging out” a.k.a. when they leave all of their belongings, usually their home, and their everything… behind.
They’re basically hoarders. They store a crazy amount of food – sometimes canning it themselves or planning to hunt it themselves. They have tons and tons of water. They have crazy shelters sometimes underground, sometimes in a submarine, sometimes in small huts in the middle of the woods. They have way too many weapons for comfort and really intense plans and escape routes… and they usually force their family members to have “bug-out drills” in the middle of the night. Just in case.
Of course, National Geographic has made a TV show about these people. Their specific plan is given a score and they’re told how long their plan will keep them alive IF their anticipated doomsday scenario played out.
So this got me thinking?
Would Sean and I be prepared for the end of the world? What if The Walking Dead really happened?
Supposedly, in a time of survival you need to follow:
The Rules of Three.
You can survive 3 minutes without air.
You can survive 3 hours without shelter.
You can survive 3 days without water.
You can survive 3 weeks without food.
You can survive 3 months without companionship.
If something happened and we got stuck in our home.
We would die in 3 minutes. While the windows in our loft are beautiful… they do not open.
So if the vents were to be shut off… we’re done.
Water? We have 6 bottles of water stored. That’s it.
And we only have that because of the hurricane a few months ago.
We thought we were ahead of the game.
Food? That makes me laugh.
We don’t have any food that doesn’t require some type of power to cook or to heat up.
Other than Milano cookies. But something tells me we can’t live off those.
Security? We have nothing but hairspray and a broom. For real.
The ability to leave all our belongings behind? I don’t think so.
Every once in a while, the fire alarm in our building goes off.
Not knowing, if it’s real or a drill… we still have to evacuate.
Before we leave, I run around trying to pull all the “important” stuff and shove it into bags.
Our wedding album, laptops, chargers, wallets, car keys, shoes, cat food, etc., etc., etc.
It’s just not in my mental state to accept that I would have to leave all my lovely possessions behind.
I mean, maybe if I knew we were on the brink of a zombie apocalypse, my attitude would change.
I would probably regret not hoarding food, water and weapons.
I would probably regret not taking these TV shows “seriously”.
I would probably regret not being ready for doomsday.
But let’s hope the odds are in our favor.